yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
