Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
