I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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