im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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