she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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