dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
