I love having hate sex.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
