Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
