just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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