Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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