Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
