There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
