You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
