My friends, they love my intelligence
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
