i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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