8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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