I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think i got beer on your cat.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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