i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
