No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
