My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
