He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
