I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
