Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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