just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
