He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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