I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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