who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
