i barfeds in our rink
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
