It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
