Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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