this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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