So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
