Your face is a jimmy john
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm going to jail i love you
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
