Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
