she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She bit a glass in half.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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