just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
