so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
