i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
