I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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