I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
