Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize