i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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