Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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