There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
