Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
