you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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