I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
