Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
