I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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