If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
