is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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