They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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