u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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