the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
