We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
