i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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