People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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