Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
