No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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