I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
