My Higher Power is John Stamos
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
