I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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