I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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