let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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