I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
