I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize