i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
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